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I have no magic pill for solving the problem of school bullying in China, but reading about it recently brought back some memories. 

我没有解决中国校园欺凌问题的魔法药丸，只是最近的报道让我回想起以前的一些经历。

About half the students in regular Beijing schools have been victims of bullying — some of them daily — according to a recent survey. I’m not surprised.

最近一项调查显示，北京正规学校里几乎一半数量的学生都曾遭遇过校园霸凌，其中有的学生甚至每天都在遭受这种欺凌。对此我并不惊讶。

I will admit to bullying my younger brother once or twice, but I never did any real damage — unlike my friend’s big brother, who rolled him up tight in a 3-by-3-meter carpet and then sat on him for 20 minutes. My friend nearly died. 

我得承认我曾欺负过我弟弟一两次，但我从未给他造成任何实质性伤害，不像我朋友的哥哥，他曾把我朋友紧紧地裹在一张9平米的小毯子里，然后在他身上坐了20分钟，当时我朋友差点就死掉了。

That image haunts me. It cured me of any macho pretensions and turned me into the kind, loving defender of the weak and helpless that I am today.

这件事情一直在我的脑海中挥之不去，它治好了我狂妄自大的大男子主义，让我从此变成一个捍卫弱小者权利的匡扶正义之人。

But for some reason in my school years I was a bully magnet. My earliest memory is from third grade, when two older boys held a knife to my throat after school. I stood very still, and they soon left me alone.

但在学生时代，因为某些原因，我一直是容易受到欺凌的体质。记忆里最早可追溯到三年级，有一天放学后，两个比我大的男生把刀架在我的脖子上，我吓得呆若木鸡，过了一会儿他们走了，留下我一个人呆呆地站在那里。

Once, in fourth grade, I was minding my own business on the playground when the stocky son of a steelworker came up out of nowhere and socked me in the face. I never figured out why. This kid wasn’t bright, but he sure could punch.

四年级时有一次，我正在操场上胡思乱想，一个钢厂工人的矮胖敦实的儿子不知道从哪里突然蹿出来，上来就对着我的脸一顿猛击，我至今不知道为什么。他在学校只是个无名小卒，但仍可以肆无忌惮地欺负我。

In sixth grade, I was walking alone in my neighborhood when another boy ran toward me. As I turned to greet him, he gave me a knuckle sandwich. I flailed back, but he had received boxing lessons and bloodied my nose for good measure.

六年级有一天，我正在家附近的街道上走着，突然一个男孩向我跑来。当我向他打招呼时，他对着我的嘴就是一拳。我就对着他一通乱打，但他上过拳击课，最后我不仅没报到仇，反而连鼻子也被他打出血了。

In seventh grade I learned to give the bullies my lunch money before they asked for it. I never told anyone because I was afraid they would get revenge. Better to suffer.

七年级时，我学会了在混混们找我要钱之前主动乖乖地上交我的午餐费，这件事我从未和任何人谈起，因为我很害怕他们会变本加厉地报复我，与其这样，我宁愿默默地承受。

Then came high school, where a bully named Shuey decided he didn’t like me. He hazed me for months, from verbal assaults to scribbled vulgarities on my desk. He challenged me to meet him behind the school, but I demurred — and he called me a coward in front of my classmates. He had mastered the art of intimidation. I was a tender lad who didn’t want to fight anybody.

后来上了高中，一个叫Shuey的混混看我不顺眼，从语言的辱骂到在我桌子上乱写些低俗粗鲁的话无所不用其极，他造成的阴影几个月以来一直笼罩着我。他很擅长恐吓这一套，而我又是一个不愿和任何人发生冲突的胆小的男孩，因此当他挑衅说放学后单挑而我拒绝后，他就当着我所有同学的面叫我“懦夫”。

One day I had enough. When Shuey blocked my way into class, I exploded, ramming him and knocking him down. He got up and took a swing. He missed — and I instantly saw my advantage. I had a longer reach by 10 centimeters, and my fists were faster than I ever knew. Shuey was overwhelmed by my attack and couldn’t lay a hand on me. 

终于有一天我受够了，当Shuey再一次在班里公然挡住我的路时，我爆发了，朝他撞去把他撞倒了，他站起来时趔趄了一下，就在这个空当我发现了我的优势，我的手臂比他多10公分，因此我迅速出击，以我自己都难以想象的速度一拳朝他打去，Shuey最终被我打败，再也不敢动我一根汗毛了。

Soon, we were marched off to the principal’s office, where Shuey’s puffy, beaten face compared unfavorably to my virgin visage. When the principal suggested going to the gym and putting on the gloves, I enthusiastically agreed. Shuey hesitated, knowing he would get thumped. But the principal didn’t mean it anyway and sent us back to class.

没多久，我们就被带到了校长办公室，Shuey的脸被打得肿了起来，而我首次打架就毫发无损全胜而归。当校长提议让我们俩去体育馆戴上手套再来比一局时，正被胜利的喜悦包围的我一口就答应了，但Shuey犹豫了，他知道自己几斤几两，最终校长作罢，打发我们回了教室。

Word of the fight got around the school, and nobody bothered me again. It was uncivilized behavior, but something big changed in my life: My fear vanished. 

我的英雄事迹很快就传遍全校，再也没有人欺负我了，这并不是一件多么令人挂齿的事情，但却极大地改变了我的生活：我终于不再恐惧。

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