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I have read the news with bemused interest as Chinese doctors advise prospective mothers about the risks of having a second child. I’m a skeptic.

新闻报道中，屡见中国医生提醒广大妇女，二孩有风险，生育需谨慎。本人读得兴致勃勃，却又一头雾水，对其言论并不敢苟同。

But don’t listen to me.I am not a doctor. I claim no medical knowledge whatsoever. If you’re a woman contemplating having a second child, you should stop reading now. I am not qualified to render a professional opinion about anything — least of all prenatal care.
不过，鄙人一家之言，不足为训。鄙人并非医生，对医学一窍不通。读者若恰巧是正在考虑要二孩的妇女同志，当立即停止阅读本文。鄙人才疏学浅，无权对任何事物发表专业评论，产前保健更是不敢妄议。

Yet I have also been accused of knowing too much about reproduction. I have eight children — yes, three sons and five daughters. Shocking but true. I will say that a big family is wonderful, especially now that the kids are grown.
不过，亦有人指称鄙人对生产之事了如指掌。本人膝下三男五女。难以置信，不过确实属实。依鄙人之见，人丁兴旺是幸事，儿女渐长则更佳。

Whenever my professional colleagues in the United States found out how many children I had, they would invariably gasp. “Good grief! Don’t you know what causes that?” I told them I never really thought about it; I just did what I was told.
美国同僚闻此都大为吃惊。“天！何以至此？”本人并不曾仔细考虑过这一问题，只是听从夫人旨意而已。

So I have seen a lot of birthing. All eight of my children were delivered by caesarean section, all from the same woman. My wife set the hospital record for the number of consecutive C-sections. I witnessed every one. In US hospitals, unlike many in China, they typically invite fathers into the operating room.

因此，临盆之事本人司空见惯。本人四双儿女都由同一妇女剖腹产所生。内人创下了在医院连续剖腹产的最高纪录。每次手术本人都在现场亲眼目睹。与许多中国医院不同，美国医院通常会邀请爸爸们进入手术室。

I’ve now seen so many C-sections I’m confident I could perform one in an emergency with a ball-point pen. So if you’re a pregnant woman who courageously kept reading after being warned, take note: I can respond quickly if you every have need — in a taxi, on the subway or climbing the Great Wall.
见过如此多的剖腹产，本人自信可以在紧急情况下用圆珠笔为人手术。因此，如果读者身怀六甲，而不顾警告敢于继续阅读此文，请注意：不管您是在出租车上、地铁里还是爬长城途中，只要有需要，本人可即刻为您服务。

There’s been a great deal of news coverage about China’s second-child policy. Articles often quote doctors saying that a woman is considered “old” for pregnancy if she’s over 35. Tut-tut. My wife was 43 when our eighth child was born. (She wanted more, but I finally drew the line.)
中国的二孩政策屡见报端。不少报道引用医生的话称，35岁以上的妇女便算是“高龄产妇”。内人生第8个孩子时可已经43了（她还想生，可笔者认为8个已经够了）。

Doctors say the risks go up for older women. Regular checkups are essential. Diet is crucial. I’m sure they’re right, so please don’t listen to me. What do I know? I can only report one couple’s experience.
医生说产妇年纪越大，生孩子的风险越大。定期产检必不可少。饮食更是至关重要。他们说的都没错，所以请别听我的。我知道什么呢？我只能讲一讲我们夫妇的经历。

With our first child, my wife was very concerned, very careful, very picky about everything — diet, exercise, monthly exams, playing music to the baby in her belly. By the time the fifth or sixth child rolled around, she would simply visit the doctor once and say, “See you in eight months.” She had faith in nature. After all, women have been getting pregnant for thousands of years.
怀第一胎的时候，我妻子小心翼翼，对所有事都很挑剔——饮食，锻炼，定期产检，音乐胎教。等我们家老五老六都会打酱油的时候，她去了医院一次，和医生说“八个月后再见”。她崇尚自然。毕竟，女人怀胎生子都有几千年历史了。

One Chinese doctor warned last week about the risks of multiple C-sections, and advised women in their second pregnancy to wait three months before exercising. But my wife exercised from the start. She even went bungee jumping when she was two-months pregnant, and that kid turned out to be super smart. (I’m not advocating this for improving a gaokao score — just saying.)
上周，一位中国医生警示了多次剖腹产的危险，建议生育二胎的妇女在胎儿头三个月前要避免运动。但我妻子怀孕之后并没有停止运动。孩子两个月的时候，她还去蹦极，然后这个孩子生下来竟然非常聪明。（我并不是在传授高考状元养成之道——就这么一说。）

It’s true that parents may feel strained with a second child, but I can attest that it gets easier after three, if only because you don’t notice the additional craziness when you’re already nuts.
生育第二胎，父母难免会紧张，不过我以人格担保，第三个之后就会越来越轻松的，哪怕是因为抓狂到一定程度也就无以复加了。

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