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为什么一到秋冬季节就想谈恋爱?心理学家说,这是种病 | Jooyee 聚译网

为什么一到秋冬季节就想谈恋爱?心理学家说,这是种病

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多少人有这种病,来来来,举手看看

随着寒风阵阵刮起,树叶簌簌飘落,单身的人们开始渴望能有个爱人一起依偎取暖、散步看电影,这就是所谓的“骚动季节”。骚动并不可怕,可怕的是一旦严冬过去,天气转暖,你又开始怀念单身,甚至决定和伴侣分手。


这不光是人品问题,心理学家说,这是一种病。


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随着冬日降临,阴郁的漫漫霜夜frosty nights即将到来,又有人开始寻找圣诞季情人了。


We are now knee-deep in “cuffing season,” whereby single men and women search far and wide for a companion to keep them warm and sexually satiated during the chilly months.
我们现在都进入了骚动季节,单身的男人和女人到处寻找伴侣,为了在寒冷的日子里可以相拥取暖,满足彼此的身体需求。


     什么是“骚动季节”?

“骚动季节”指的是单身人士在秋冬季渴望得到一段能把自己“拷牢”的认真的恋情


According to Urban Dictionary, the cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.
根据在线词典Urban Dictionary,寒冷的天气和长时间的室内活动让单身人士感到寂寞,因而渴求被“拷牢”。


但是,一旦夏日来临,这些人又会抛弃自己的伴侣,重新踏上欲望的旅程。


This pattern is more than a simple by-product of fickle millennial dating culture, it’s a common trend that's been labelled “Seasonal Dating Disorder” (SDD).
这种模式不只是千禧一代轻浮约会文化的简单副产品,而是一种号称“季节性恋爱症”的普遍现象。


Just like “ghosting” involves no supernatural apparitions; SDD is not a medically-recognised disorder, however, it is no less socially prevalent.
正如ghosting(玩消失)和超自然鬼魂没有半点关系,季节性恋爱症也不是医学意义上的失调,但是,这种症状在社会上却很流行。


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情感心理学家玛德琳·梅森(Madeleine Mason)指出,这种恋爱风气在二十几岁的约会者当中尤为常见。


她说:“表现出这种恋爱模式的单身人士无法做出承诺(are unable to commit)。”


“他们用夏日狂欢和朋友作为这种模式的借口,但事实上是因为他们无法建立持久的情感纽带(lasting romantic bonds)。”


"They may have the illusion they can settle down whenever they want to, but they can’t and until they do decide they want a lasting relationship will they realise they are unable to; that’s when I’ll see them in my office," she told The Independent.
梅森告诉《独立报》说:“他们也许以为无论何时,只要自己想安定下来,随时都能做到,但其实这是种错觉,等到他们终于决定自己想要一段长久的恋情时,他们会意识到自己做不到;这时候他们就开始来我这里就医。”


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现年25岁的露辛达·伯顿·汤姆森坦承自己是“季节性恋爱症”患者a self-confessed SDD sufferer


"As the nights draw in and crunchy leaves litter the streets, for some reason I always end up wanting a boyfriend,” she told The Independent.
她告诉《独立报》说:“不知道为什么,每当夜幕降临,街道上散落着松脆的枯叶,我总是很想要一个男朋友。”


“There's something about autumn and winter that makes me want someone with whom to snuggle on the sofa, go ice skating and hold hands on crisp walks.
秋天和冬天有某种东西,让我想要一个可以在沙发上相互依偎,一起去滑冰,手牵手咯吱咯吱地踩着落叶散步的人。”


“It's great having a boyfriend through the cold months, but by the time spring rolls round I'm nearly always fed up of them, so break things off.
“寒冷的日子里有个男友感觉很好,但是每当春天快来临的时候,我也差不多厌烦他们了,于是就分手了。”


“There's nothing better than being single in summer - long balmy evenings are perfect for casual fun and flings."
没有什么比夏日单身更愉快的了——悠长芬芳的夏夜最适合随性的寻欢作乐。”


伯顿不是唯一一个恋爱欲望随季节而波动的人。


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来自英国赫特福德郡的24岁女孩萨曼莎·摩尔近十年来一直都是季节性约会者,她承认自己从16岁到现在只有一个圣诞节是单身的。


“Every autumn, I start looking for a new boyfriend. No one wants to be on their own during winter – it’s depressing,” she told The Sun.
她告诉《太阳报》说:“每到秋天,我就开始寻找一个新男友。谁都不想在冬天孤单一人——这太令人抑郁了。”


到了夏天,她坦言自己又做好了单身的准备,并将自己无所顾忌的心态devil-may-care attitude归咎于炎热的天气和火辣的社交场面。


来自英国北安普敦的25岁女孩西恩·瑞恩也同样如此。她声称如果自己单身的话,夏日“就大不相同wouldn’t be the same”。


"Lads hold me back," she said.
她说:“小伙子们羁绊住了我。”


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然而,有些单身人士“骚动”是希望找到固定的伴侣。


Laura Ecclestone from Somerset admitted that she finally feels ready to settle down after lifetime of seasonal dating.
来自萨默塞特的劳拉·埃克尔斯通坦言,经历了这么多年的季节性约会,她终于准备好要安定下来了。


“As summer fades, I start thinking it would be nice to have a partner to stay in, order a takeaway and watch a film with. I’ve done this for years now,” she said.
她说:“随着夏天过去,我开始考虑,是不是有个固定伴侣更好。可以一起窝在家里,一起叫外卖,一起看电影。我有这个想法已经好几年了。”


是不是搞不清自己到底是“季节性恋爱症”患者,是有一颗骚动的心,还是二者皆有?


梅森梳理出了四条症状,一起来看看。


❶ You can't bear the thought of being alone over Christmas/New Years and put all efforts in the autumn to find a partner.
你无法忍受在圣诞节或新年孤单一人,因此在秋天不遗余力地寻找一个伴侣。


 By Valentine's Day (or anywhere from three months of dating) you start to feel bored or trapped within the relationship and start finding excuses to spend less time with your partner.
到情人节前(或约会三个月后)你开始感到厌倦,被这段感情困住,于是开始找借口减少和伴侣在一起的时间。


 The idea of being single fills you with relief after some time and you break up or act in ways to make your partner break-up with you.
约会了一段时间后,你开始觉得单身更轻松,于是你提出分手,或者故意做一些事,让对方和你分手。


 You have done this at least the past three years.
至少在过去三年里,你都是这么做的。


既然已经知道自己的问题在哪,就该出发去寻找那个能把你锁住的人了。


编辑:丹妮

英文来源:独立报


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